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Shelter sans shade

Wont' let today be a yesterday

first born to the land/nation
how could the land lay waste the
claim to me?

The squalor is hidden too often
the verbose of squalor was taught strange, once created do not clear
lay bare the burrow
just dig another.

Food on the table simply pushed aside, expect a new plate
which may be gleamed or not clear the table, nasty microbes
deserve a treat.

Taken and schooled in shame foreign to
my creed
ingrained skin deep, delved and
shoveled almost into the genes
for some decades past
now hard to to live down the prepubescent
the skeletal shell is hunched low
the shoulders slack.

Released to navigate, innards paradox(ed) rife
uncertainty surfaces in each stride
spirits try to guide, yet demons now have a king
which the collars inscribed
couple of generations asunder, completely missing a guide

expectation unknown, performance here and now
mimic, please, simply wander
step in , step out, maybe crash any couch sufficed

The crusader knights
with the straighter posture
lean in
the innuendo is now sexual, peaks

roadsides, fields, car seats I occupied
frayed aimless before any start

curves that excite denigrate
when priced, how? When? Why?
Did I?!

imagery in my brainstorm reeks
chagrin clouded orgasm it still seeks

there is substance in multiplicity
procured on streets, alleviates
the vex, moments of shelter
knowing no real shade.

Ecstasy mars orgasm, articulated nonsensical
double positives cancel out, just the same as double negatives

I am hung dry, hit upon
hit on,
shot, strangulated
bashed to sieve the body from soul
some type of hunger fulfilled
not mine
aberrant societal bred, never in check

now missing, no frenzy in the search
search without commitment
the carcass a minority
a vote bank that requisitions no lobby

remains scattered, pockmarked nation
each spot seeks a marker, a familial name,
for those who wait
anonymity as perpetuity for some assured
not labor but luck leads a few home

a moment when I (some) can say goodbye, time lapsed,
poignant still as ash or bone lovingly glanced,
they see the earth covering the wreck.
a repeated moment, a human moment,
I wanted to be kissed goodbye,
false, false, utterly false; even the end lacks.

spectator commentates speculating on some of
her last thoughts
to her adoptive
father/mother/unified confederation/guardian potentate/shelter
unlikely though thru fear and terror but still

“don’t let today be yesterday.”